Stare a bit deeper

Starting posts like this is a little bit tricky. Do I make you imagine scenarios? Do I tell you to put yourself in other people’s shoes? Should I tell a story where I was sexually harassed? Do I tell you about my friend that was sexually harassed? Do I begin with the cliche introduction “The world today is filled with so many… “. Do I generalize the males for this vice, add females because they are guilty of it too, or do I say “some people…”? Touchy subjects like this are best precise, so I’ll just skip to the point.

Lust is a sin. I’m not going to stress on that. Sexual attraction is not a sin, but objectification is just plain wrong and rape is unjustifiable.

God made us beautiful; you don’t need to be attracted to a specific gender to be able to know whether the person in question is attractive or not. Let me clarify something- objectification is not mere attraction but belittling a person or gender to their sex organs or sexual capability. Another clarification- because it is normal doesn’t make it good. It’s high time a tell a story, and sadly, this one doesn’t have a happy ending.

“We’re gonna hit that ass, ***” he sent.

“What?! ” she typed, heart beating too fast to be healthy.

“I said I’m gonna hit that ass😂😂😂. I’m not joking, babe”. Her heart came to a stop at the last sentence.

“What the hell? I don’t find this funny, please stop” she typed fast and hit the send button, partly in fear, partly relieved that this was in chat and not in the physical.

“I’m not joking! I’m gonna f*** that ass, don’t feel comfortable because no one has come for it yet.”

He kept threatening her, not giving in to her pleas, probably being entertained by her fear.

She dropped her phone on her thighs to deal with the tears running down both cheeks and attempted to calm down.

This guy was a class mate, a guy she didn’t know from Adam, but had a bad reputation. She knew just how he got her number -the Chemical Engineering Class of 2021 WhatsApp group chat. She tried to tell herself this was just a message, but that notorious-looking dude that never even spoke to her, yet knew her name could catch her alone anytime from now, and she may have to live in fear and in hiding for the rest of her stay in that school, lest she would be caught unaware, wishing she didn’t let the conversation slide as a plain joke.

She hit a male friend up – waste of time. The guy ended up lashing at her for being “such a feminist” and getting angry at such a “joke”. She hit another friend up; “It’s just a joke, don’t take it too seriously,” was his reply, and that was not comforting at all.

She checked her chats and noticed the potential rapist read her message with no response. She tried to look at this moment as the past, “it’s a joke after all”, she whispered to herself with her eyes shut tight, letting the tears flow freely down her cheeks like her emotions were a work of art. In all this, a little part of her wondered if this was how rape stories began, for he was not the only of his kind, neither was she the only prey…

The girl in this true story is my very good friend.

Do you want to hear another story about a friend of mine that is stopped on the road every time because of guys trying to “shoot their shot”? Well, it’s all flattering and cute, until a friend warns you to never walk alone from then on because he overheard a cultist tell his friends about how he’s going to rape you.

Do you want to hear my own story??! We thank God I’ve not been raped, but I can’t say the same for everyone reading this or everyone you know because the world is such an unsafe place. Am I going off point? No, because lust and objectification can lead to rape, sexual assault or sexual harassment whether it is always the case or not.

A girl may flaunt her cleavage or body for attention. A boy can do the same with his torso. She/he sees her/himself as attractive, but that doesn’t mean the person in question has belittled her/himself to only looks . Even if the case may be so, that doesn’t grant you a free ticket to do the same. No one wants to be raped, and nobody deserves it either. Preaching against rape hasn’t done so much, but maybe correcting objectification can.

The female human( and male too) is made beautiful, well sculpted by God and that is something to be proud of. We are not just our breasts; look deeper and you’ll see a beautiful heart. We are not just our hips; look deeper and you’ll see our balance. (Please don’t use this as an excuse to stare deeply at someone’s body🤦😂😂😂). We are not just our sexual organs, we are people too- with souls, hearts, dreams, future- we are higher animals like the male humans, and God sculpted our inner beauty too! And if you ever see someone that flaunts his/her body as if it’s all the person has, don’t take advantage of such a person, but remind that person that although skin and flesh are appreciated, inner beauty is important too.

Don’t settle for the package and forget the real gift that lays inside. This goes out to both genders- Don’t be too focused on the outer part, and don’t trash the inner contents of well decorated container. Admire truly the inner parts as well as the outside, and you’ll get love, not lust. Do not harm a woman or man because the body appeals to you; try to get a glimpse of within and find out if the real present is what you love. You are more than your skin and flesh, in fact, your coats mean practically nothing for they will fade away. The real thing- what stays within, stands strong.

She/he is not a toy to be played with without consent, but a mysterious jewel locked in an attractive box. Don’t settle for the box, but for the jewel. And note this, let her/him give you the keys if you deem fit for the contents; you have no right to destroy the box because you’re disallowed to open it.

End rape. Stop objectification. Do away with sexual harassment. Treat others how you want to be treated. Handle others how you want to be handled. And if you’re unsure of what is right, ask yourself, “Will God be okay with this?”. And a more generic question for people who don’t believe in God, “If roles were reversed, will I be okay with it?”. I don’t know who this spoke to, but I will like to say that at least I tried. Bye babies💖💖💖💖

Photo credits:

@sophzine