Stare a bit deeper

Starting posts like this is a little bit tricky. Do I make you imagine scenarios? Do I tell you to put yourself in other people’s shoes? Should I tell a story where I was sexually harassed? Do I tell you about my friend that was sexually harassed? Do I begin with the cliche introduction “The world today is filled with so many… “. Do I generalize the males for this vice, add females because they are guilty of it too, or do I say “some people…”? Touchy subjects like this are best precise, so I’ll just skip to the point.

Lust is a sin. I’m not going to stress on that. Sexual attraction is not a sin, but objectification is just plain wrong and rape is unjustifiable.

God made us beautiful; you don’t need to be attracted to a specific gender to be able to know whether the person in question is attractive or not. Let me clarify something- objectification is not mere attraction but belittling a person or gender to their sex organs or sexual capability. Another clarification- because it is normal doesn’t make it good. It’s high time a tell a story, and sadly, this one doesn’t have a happy ending.

We’re gonna hit that ass, ***” he sent.

“What?! ” she typed, heart beating too fast to be healthy.

“I said I’m gonna hit that assπŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚. I’m not joking, babe”. Her heart came to a stop at the last sentence.

“What the hell? I don’t find this funny, please stop” she typed fast and hit the send button, partly in fear, partly relieved that this was in chat and not in the physical.

“I’m not joking! I’m gonna f*** that ass, don’t feel comfortable because no one has come for it yet.”

He kept threatening her, not giving in to her pleas, probably being entertained by her fear.

She dropped her phone on her thighs to deal with the tears running down both cheeks and attempted to calm down.

This guy was a class mate, a guy she didn’t know from Adam, but had a bad reputation. She knew just how he got her number -the Chemical Engineering Class of 2021 WhatsApp group chat. She tried to tell herself this was just a message, but that notorious-looking dude that never even spoke to her, yet knew her name could catch her alone anytime from now, and she may have to live in fear and in hiding for the rest of her stay in that school, lest she would be caught unaware, wishing she didn’t let the conversation slide as a plain joke.

She hit a male friend up – waste of time. The guy ended up lashing at her for being “such a feminist” and getting angry at such a “joke”. She hit another friend up; “It’s just a joke, don’t take it too seriously,” was his reply, and that was not comforting at all.

She checked her chats and noticed the potential rapist read her message with no response. She tried to look at this moment as the past, “it’s a joke after all”, she whispered to herself with her eyes shut tight, letting the tears flow freely down her cheeks like her emotions were a work of art. In all this, a little part of her wondered if this was how rape stories began, for he was not the only of his kind, neither was she the only prey

The girl in this true story is my very good friend.

Do you want to hear another story about a friend of mine that is stopped on the road every time because of guys trying to “shoot their shot”? Well, it’s all flattering and cute, until a friend warns you to never walk alone from then on because he overheard a cultist tell his friends about how he’s going to rape you.

Do you want to hear my own story??! We thank God I’ve not been raped, but I can’t say the same for everyone reading this or everyone you know because the world is such an unsafe place. Am I going off point? No, because lust and objectification can lead to rape, sexual assault or sexual harassment whether it is always the case or not.

A girl may flaunt her cleavage or body for attention. A boy can do the same with his torso. She/he sees her/himself as attractive, but that doesn’t mean the person in question has belittled her/himself to only looks . Even if the case may be so, that doesn’t grant you a free ticket to do the same. No one wants to be raped, and nobody deserves it either. Preaching against rape hasn’t done so much, but maybe correcting objectification can.

The female human( and male too) is made beautiful, well sculpted by God and that is something to be proud of. We are not just our breasts; look deeper and you’ll see a beautiful heart. We are not just our hips; look deeper and you’ll see our balance. (Please don’t use this as an excuse to stare deeply at someone’s bodyπŸ€¦πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚). We are not just our sexual organs, we are people too- with souls, hearts, dreams, future- we are higher animals like the male humans, and God sculpted our inner beauty too! And if you ever see someone that flaunts his/her body as if it’s all the person has, don’t take advantage of such a person, but remind that person that although skin and flesh are appreciated, inner beauty is important too.

Don’t settle for the package and forget the real gift that lays inside. This goes out to both genders- Don’t be too focused on the outer part, and don’t trash the inner contents of well decorated container. Admire truly the inner parts as well as the outside, and you’ll get love, not lust. Do not harm a woman or man because the body appeals to you; try to get a glimpse of within and find out if the real present is what you love. You are more than your skin and flesh, in fact, your coats mean practically nothing for they will fade away. The real thing- what stays within, stands strong.

She/he is not a toy to be played with without consent, but a mysterious jewel locked in an attractive box. Don’t settle for the box, but for the jewel. And note this, let her/him give you the keys if you deem fit for the contents; you have no right to destroy the box because you’re disallowed to open it.

End rape. Stop objectification. Do away with sexual harassment. Treat others how you want to be treated. Handle others how you want to be handled. And if you’re unsure of what is right, ask yourself, “Will God be okay with this?”. And a more generic question for people who don’t believe in God, “If roles were reversed, will I be okay with it?”. I don’t know who this spoke to, but I will like to say that at least I tried. Bye babiesπŸ’–πŸ’–πŸ’–πŸ’–

Photo credits:

@sophzine

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41 Comments Add yours

  1. Sun says:

    Thank you so much darling for sharing our stories. We appreciate it

    Liked by 1 person

    1. You’re welcome bπŸ’–πŸ’–πŸ’–πŸ’–

      Like

  2. Timilehin says:

    So much depth in this write-up. I personally feel very strongly about these issues and am quite empathetic with the female folk(and anyone who’s has been objectified or abused). I find it quite scary and depressing that people still exist who think comments like that made by the harasser in the experience you related are jokes. Voices like yours make me optimistic and hopeful in a much better future, where everyone(and their feelings) is respected and duly dignified. Where Sexism and objectification are no longer a thing. Very well done!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Awwww❀❀. Thank you very much for reading aND appreciating my blog post, as well as speaking up. There’s really a lot of rubbish happening right now, and as if that’s not bad, the society rather adds insults to injuries than aiding those who could have been them. We need to move forward – with actions, with words, even if it’s support! We need to move forward πŸ’ͺπŸ’ͺπŸ’ͺ

      Like

  3. Oluwadarasimi Adeboyeku says:

    This beautiful chisom. Its good to know that not everyone immediately thinks what did you wear or what did you do that caused you to be raped, because rape in itself has no justification.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Yes sweetie. Rape can not be justified. Thank you baby β€β€β€β€πŸ’–

      Like

  4. Amy Leonard says:

    I do support this and at least now I understand why people should stop saying it’s the way you dressed, that’s why you were raped. Men dress sexily too and expose a bit but do you see us going to rape them ? NO

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank youuuuu. There’s a story behind every crime, but that doesn’t change the fact it’s still a crime!! Thank you again, sweetie ❀❀❀

      Like

  5. lexystorm says:

    Reblogged this on TAREAL'S INK and commented:
    Stare very deeply

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you very much, sweetie. I’m glad you liked it that much πŸ’–πŸ’–πŸ’–πŸ˜πŸ˜πŸ˜πŸ™ˆπŸ™ˆ

      Like

    1. Thanks so much bπŸ’–πŸ’–πŸ’–

      Like

  6. Chisom's loverπŸ’žπŸ’ž says:

    The write up is so beautiful that I think 5 people put heads together to write this, y’all should stay safe
    I’ll talk anyone out of rape if I hear it from anyone

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you so much dear❀❀❀❀ we should all try our best to end rape

      Like

  7. Toye says:

    This is deep

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you β€β€β€πŸ’˜πŸ’˜

      Like

  8. Victoria says:

    Amazing❀❀

    Liked by 1 person

  9. Chidera says:

    πŸ‘πŸ‘πŸ‘πŸ‘πŸ‘πŸŒŸ

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you b❀❀❀❀❀

      Like

  10. Zest says:

    Amazing Amazing amazeballs….

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank youuuuuπŸ’–πŸ’–πŸ’–πŸ’–πŸ’˜

      Like

  11. Ayo says:

    Good job homie

    Liked by 1 person

  12. Marissa says:

    Brilliant job, the first story of this article actually seemed similar to something that happened to me once before, but then am thankful to God that the issue was quickly attended to, before it got out of hand.
    People need to know that issues like that should not be taken with levity, it needs to be taken with all seriousness. Which is what I believe you are trying to achieve with this master piece. Great work dear. Keep up the good work.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Thank you so much for speaking up. I’m so happy you loved this blog post and you could relate. I really hope for a safer future for our children and younger siblings. Take care dear, πŸ’–πŸ’–πŸ’–πŸ’–πŸ’–β€β€

      Like

      1. Marissa says:

        Thank you dear.

        Liked by 1 person

      2. You’re welcome ❀

        Like

  13. Emmanuella Omonigho says:

    This is like one of the best write up I’ve read. And yes you are right, but the world loves all things that are evil and mean.
    Keep letting the world know though,
    Great Great Job❀

    Liked by 1 person

    1. AwwwwwπŸ™ˆπŸ™ˆπŸ™ˆπŸ’–πŸ’–πŸ’–πŸ’–πŸ’–πŸ’–πŸ’– thank youπŸ’–πŸ’–πŸ’–πŸ’–

      Like

  14. Socrates says:

    Nice write-up

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you so much πŸ˜πŸ˜πŸ’–πŸ’–

      Like

  15. John says:

    This write up is quite insightful.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. AwwπŸ’˜πŸ’˜πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚ Im glad it helped

      Like

  16. Miriam says:

    I loooove this so much.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. AwwwwwwwwπŸ’–πŸ’–πŸ’–πŸ’–πŸ’–. What will I do without you

      Liked by 2 people

  17. This is beautiful. Rape is wrong and I’m glad you addressed the fact that clothing has nothing to do with rape. Keep writing sis πŸ’–πŸ’–πŸ’–

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Thank you so much sweetie. I’m glad it spoke to you.

      Like

  18. Chris Mafian says:

    Wonderful piece.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you πŸ’ƒπŸ’ƒ

      Like

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